25 Signs You’re Underemployed

1. You’ve started to realize that using the very skills you were hired for will probably just end up disrupting the office status quo. You start thinking “I’d best put my head down and get the work done so I don’t get hassled” .‬

2. Your parents or loved ones look at your current situation like a broken down car that’s at the mechanic and will be fixed in a matter of days. Giving you phrases like “you’re so talented, they have to see that”, “Don’t worry God with do it”, and my personal favorite “your breakthrough is coming soon”.

3. You’ve finally fallen into depths that in the not so distant past you swore you’d never go to. I am of course talking about endorsing people on LinkedIn hope they’ll do you some favor.‬

4.  Superiors assign you tasks that they think will take you at least a day to complete. It’ll probably take you about a half an hour.‬

5. You’ve finally stopped making smart-person remarks you learned during your overexpensive university education, because nobody in the office will have the slightest clue what you’re talking about.

6. You’ve debated buying glasses with very thick rims for the sole purpose of reminding yourself and other persons around that you are in fact, educated.‬

7. You pronounce the learned with a hard “ed” at the end. But you can’t afford to buy more than one book per month.‬

8. You used to look down upon people with jobs in food service or retail, but you’re slowly beginning to realize your job is not that rosy either.‬

9. You’re well past resenting your parents for urging you to turn your passion into a career. You now simply wished they channeled your interests towards something more practical and profitable. Like how John Jackson pushed the Jackson five.

10. When trying to make a budget for yourself, you’re never able to finish because knowing you can’t afford what you want is ultimately more depressing than simply hoping there will be enough money.‬

11. After looking at the prices of things, you spend hours trying to figure out how 70% of the world can afford to live.‬

12.  Upon looking at the carefree statuses of your younger friends still in college, you’re not sure whether to laugh hysterically or punch your computer monitor into smithereens.

13. With increasing frequency, you’ve begun to skip lunch out of pragmatism. But you attend alumni dinners where people expect you could totally throw down $120 for the open bar fundraiser this weekend.

14. When espousing advice onto younger folks, you talk in alarmingly tired cliches like “I get paid to wake up early”, or “All you have to do is know how to a tie a tie.”

15. You have a series of built-in excuses as to why you can’t make the work happy hour, using lines like alcohol makes me sick or late night drinking is too risky.‬

16. You’ve perfected the “when an elder person asks you about your job” face. A curt smile. A subtle indication that this is all a lie.‬

17. You scored at higher than your direct superior in your ‘O’ Level, JAMB and CGPA results.‬

18. You realize that he/she probably took the older version of the exams, so you proceed to spend a good 30 minutes figuring out how much better you did percentage-wise. The result isn’t any less depressing.‬

19. When people your age ask you what you do, you stutter nervously for about five minutes, then vomit out an indecipherable string of words that are not very helpful in determining what it is you actually do.‬

20. You follow the previous scenario up with a trusty “it’s not what I want to be doing in the long-term, but it’s a job for now.”‬

21. You spend a good deal of time planning out highly implausible scenarios in which you’d triumphantly exit your cubicle dungeon, and bring down all the shitheads with you. Then you realize you kind of need this job because that house rent and transport fee aint gonna pay for itself.‬

22. You start to hate and resent your best friend for moving to Abuja, primarily because you can’t afford the flight to Abuja.

23. Upon reading this article’s headline, you immediately felt an extraordinarily intense self-righteous pang.

24. You begin to hate yourself for thinking you’re constantly better than the rest of society– because you’re realizing more and more that you actually might not be.

25. You’re right around the age of this list, and you’re not sitting pretty; where you thought you’d be at this age is now the goal for when you hit the big 3-0


About akpamos

Can't tell what I am, Can't say who I am... All I know is am the guy that gracefully accepts the great variations of occurrances the universe has to offer with a silent chant of 'F U!'

Posted on September 16, 2013, in Whats Up ???. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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